Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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