Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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