Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize