There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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