if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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