I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize