It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize