who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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