when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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