She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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