ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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