I will die if light touches me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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