I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
