is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
