the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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