At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
