im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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