dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
