She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
