I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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