Whod you bang
You surviving the open bar?
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I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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