I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
