Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
