Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
