White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
