Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Randomize