Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
