youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
