Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
