Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
