You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
