No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
