Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize