Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Four minutes until I can fart!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
