If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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