god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize