I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
