yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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