i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
