he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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