omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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