i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
