I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
