now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
