Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
