Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
