please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Randomize
