Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
