ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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