The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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