maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
