Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
where are my eyebrows?
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