I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
