I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
