i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
