we have officially lost it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
