Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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